“Life is really worth living when you have the courage to face it.” – William Shakespeare
Termino este año 2014 con sentimientos encontrados.
Infinitamente agradecido por tantísimos regalos internos y un despertar espiritual sin paralelo a lo largo de mi búsqueda en ese camino, pero con muchos cambios a mi alrededor y personas que partieron de mi vida de maneras muy inesperadas y en ciertos casos incluso dejando mucho dolor.
Naturalmente, todo lo que vivimos es el resultado de algo, y reconozco plenamente que el dolor que me ha tocado vivir es tan sólo la “cosecha” de semillas que sembré sin tener plena conciencia en mi pasado reciente. Pero aunque sin duda merecía el dolor que me tocó vivir, el saberlo no hace de ninguna manera menos dolorosas las experiencias.
Me parece casi inverosímil cómo diferentes aspectos en mi vida, en esencia ignorancia, inmadurez y miedos, me abrumaron de maneras tan paralizantes, y afectaron prácticamente toda mi vida antes que lograra ver la luz al final del túnel. En una nota más positiva, ya tengo ciertas historias personales desde el otro lado del miedo, tal y como comenté en uno de los pocos posts de este año, pero el haber logrado salir de la crisis interna, tuvo sus costos. En particular, el altísimo costo de alienar a personas cercanas en el proceso, e incluso alejarlas con el afán de protegerlas, cuando aún dudaba si algún día la crisis empezaría a menguar.
Y de nuevo, aunque quizá lo mejor fue alejarme, “lo mejor” en ciertas ocasiones no resulta nada fácil, y aún sabiendo que toda decisión tiene efectos, ignoramos las consecuencias que puedan tener y lo que representarán en un futuro. Consecuencias, efectos e impactos imposibles de medir durante la difícil y complicada -pero a todas luces necesaria- toma de decisiones.
En fin, aprendizajes… aunque resulte duro, difícil y por momentos sumamente doloroso el aprender.
Pero creo que esa es la idea de la vida… aprender.
Así que dado que quería dejar cierta reflexión en el blog, recordé un poema de Jorge Luis Borges, titulado “Uno Aprende”, el cual al buscarlo en internet, me enteré que era una transcripción o adaptación de otro poema de William Shakespeare.
Y para no alargar más de la cuenta este post, lo copio textualmente -en inglés, ya que no quise poner una versión traducida. Hay tantas cosas con las que me identifico actualmente, y quizá sean sentimientos universales, pero en vez de ampliar mis opiniones, simplemente dejaré que el texto del poema (independientemente del autor) hable por sí solo. Aquí va:
After some time you will discover the difference between holding a hand and slaving a soul,
And you will learn that love does not mean reliance, and that company does not always mean security.
You will begin to learn that kisses are not contracts, nor gifts, nor promises…
You will learn to accept defeats with your head held high and your gaze forward, with the grace of a child and not with the sadness of an adult and you will learn to build for today, because tomorrow’s projects are uncertain and the future has a habit of falling into oblivion.
After awhile you will learn that the sun burns if you expose yourself too much… you will even accept that good people can hurt you at times and that you need to forgive them…
You will learn that talking with someone can relieve the pain in your heart and soul.
You will discover that it takes years to build confidence and only a few seconds to destroy it and that you can also do things that you will regret for the rest of your life.
You will learn that new friendships continue to grow despite the distance, and that it does not matter what you have, but who you have in life, and that our family members are the best friends that we can choose to have.
You will learn that we don’t have to change friends, if we are ready to accept that friends change.
You will realize that you can have good times with your best friend doing whatever or simply doing nothing, simply enjoying each other’s company.
You will discover you take the people that matter for granted and for this reason we should always tell these people that we love them, because we never can be sure of when we will see them for the last time.
You will learn that the circumstances and the environment that surround us have an influence on us, but we are the only ones responsible for our actions.
You will begin to learn that we should not compare ourselves to others except when we wish to imitate them to improve.
You will discover that it takes a long time to become the person that you want to be and that time is short.
You will learn that it does not matter where you are, rather that wherever you are, is adequate.
You will learn that if you don’t control your actions that they will control you and that being flexible does not mean being weak or not having a personality, but it doesn’t matter how delicate or fragile a situation is: there are always two sides.
You will learn that heroes are people that did what was necessary, facing the consequences…You will learn that patience requires a lot of practice.
You will discover that at times, the person that you expect to kick you when you are down sometimes is one of the few that helps you to get back on your feet.
Maturing is more than realizing what you have learned from your experiences over the years that you have lived.
You will learn that there are more of your parents in you than you imagined.
You will learn that you should never tell a child that his dreams are nonsense, because few things are so humiliating and it would be a tragedy if he believed it because you would be taking away his hope.
You will learn that when you feel anger, that you have a right to, but this does not give you the right to be cruel.
You will discover that just because someone does not love you in the way that you want, does not mean that they do not love you with all that they can, because there are people that love us, but do not know how to show it…
It is not always enough to be forgiven by someone, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
You will learn that you will be judged and condemned with the same severity in which you judge others.
You will learn that it does not matter in how many pieces your heart was broken: the world won’t stop and wait for you to fix it.
You will learn that time is not something that you can turn back, as such; you have to cultivate your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
Then and only then will you really know what you can handle that you are strong and that you can go much further than you thought when you thought that you couldn’t could go any further.
Life is really worth living when you have the courage to face it.”
— William Shakespeare